My failures overwhelmed me
The sick feeling in my stomach returns
What happened that this became my story
How did this ever become my story
I would do anything to change this script
How does one overcome their past
Where does the courage come
When the fear grips you by the throat
I can barely breathe
When you realize that you have no answers
That you cannot get free
Your heart is smashed into one million pieces
How did life pass me by so quickly
So fearful to reach for your true desires
Too broken and you know it
So many years left but to peer into the future
Too many disappointments to count
The power to climb the highest mountains
To afraid to take even a step
Paralyzed to death
Haunted by my past
Haunted by my brokenness
The shame is overwhelming
The tears flow far too quickly
If brokenness can kill I died long ago
Can new life birth from the ash
I keep expecting to wake up from my dreams
There is no way that this is my story
I beg You for another
How did this ever happen
Written Christmas Eve 2019
