Sorry for lack of photos in this blog post.
Life in the jungle: It rained throughout the night. Everything is wet as been the case for many days now. I wasted my morning. No power to work on my laptop. No electrical power to build another hen house and too wet for most outdoor work or painting.
I took a moment to think about and articulate how I am feeling.
“I am paralyzed by indecision not so much by fear but from lack of purpose, passion, and conviction. There is a fog over me and my entire life as far as the eyes can see. I never anticipated such a difficult year. I don’t have the capacity, energy, or desire to risk for nothing, and at the same time, I have no idea what I want in life. I can’t seem to get past the meaningless of it all. I feel almost completely trapped but at the same time aware that at some point you have to stop running from your problems as ultimately you drag those same problems everywhere you go. Trapped is trapped no matter where you go.”
This morning I ran out of my camping fuel (during breakfast) that I used on my bike ride from the US. I didn’t think I had enough fuel to last as long as it did. Luckily, I have a multi-fuel stove and simply switched to regular gasoline.
After a late breakfast, I sorted and organized my seedlings. I wanted to take a rough end-of-the-year inventory. In my little nursery, I have about 90 soursops (plus maybe 50 more ready to sprout), 230 lime, 70 lemons, 30 custard apples, and 30 orange seedlings. This just accounts for what I have to plant when they are big enough. This doesn’t include the approximately 320 assorted seedlings that I have planted over the last bunch of months in the coconut field and at the ponds.
I was planning on weed wacking but the tiny rubber fuel line is rotted. I don’t know if this can be repaired. [Turns out it can.]
In the afternoon I went to the ponds and planted four pineapple plants and did a little cleanup work (chopping and weeding). I see lots of baby papaya plants coming up. Originally, I planted over 150 bunches of seeds (3 seeds per bunch). While I didn’t do a proper count, I would like to think at least 1 seed from a little over half the bunches have germinated. I think my issue with the spots babies haven’t popped up is due to ants. There were ants everywhere when I was planting the seeds.
Getting back to the house I started disposing of the 100’s of coconuts that I had collected for coconut oil. They are all sprouting and getting old. I am dumping wheelbarrow loads in the bush beyond my fence line. Someday I should probably end up with a wall of coconut trees from the sprouted coconuts.
One of my newest chickens doesn’t look good. She was acting lethargic and I was able to catch her easily. She felt way too light. I separated her by putting her in a separate coop. I wonder if she will be alive still tomorrow.
Reflecting on my wasted morning I was frustrated with myself for not being as productive as I could have been regardless of having no power, or wet conditions I always have more work that needs to be done. Between that frustration and reflecting on this morning’s thoughts while I cannot deny what I am struggling with I simply don’t have the resources (time and money) to maintain that attitude. I need to be more intentional about changing that attitude and focus on moving forward. I also found my attitude and lack of productivity amusing since last night I was reading a book called Will to Win. Perhaps it is between the shame of wasting my morning and reading a book called Will to Win that is causing me to reflect on the urgency of changing my attitude.
I continued reading that book this evening. I also attempted to put my paperwork together for a trip to the city for a possible visit to a lawyer for advice. Unfortunately, my computer didn’t have enough battery power left to transfer the necessary files to a USB stick.
Will to Win
Life in the jungle: Last year today I arrived in Belize. One year in this country. What a hell of a year. You can read a blog post I wrote about the year consolidated into a single post and all the hell I have gone through HERE.
Most of my day was yard work. Because my weed wacker is broken I “cleaned up” the fence that goes around my house with my machete instead of using the weed wacker. It had actually been so long since the fence had been weed wacked using my machete was probably more effective. I also did fence repairs as I went a long as ultimately the fence is falling apart.
I headed to the village in the afternoon. I needed to make contact with someone to fix my weed wacker. In the end I actually got the part that’s needed for the repair. I think I can fix it on my own. I also found out about what my sick chicken has. She had fowl pox or as Verna Mae called it “pips”. I was given one suggestion to help her that I will try tomorrow. I ended up getting home after dark. Two of my chick’s decided to sleep in the main coop but I didn’t see the third chick. Not even in the chick’s coop. Hopefully she is roosting somewhere.
Because my afternoon got away from me, I did not get a chance to use my computer at Verna Mae’s. So, no city trip tomorrow. This evening I continued to read Will to Win. Three weeks with no power. No rain today.
An unusual species of bug
Life in the jungle: Last night I ended up reading until late as my allergies acted up. The weirdest thing about my allergies is I have no idea when they are going to hit. My days, my meals are basically the same day in and day out. Yet my allergies hit randomly. Anyways, I slept in and that killed my morning. My third and largest chick was nowhere to be seen this morning. So, I am down to 2 chicks. I also attempted to see if I could help my sick hen. I couldn’t find the “symptom” in her mouth. And at this point she is still alive.
I (think) I fixed my weed wacker. But I need to confirm something about the repair. I never worked on an engine before. From there I went up to the village to charge my phone and laptop. That pretty much killed my day. I felt extremely unproductive today. In the interest of getting something done instead of watching a movie on my laptop I wrote blog posts. I wrote Belize Part 51, 52 and 53 before I drained the battery.
Obviously no power today and no word on when it returns. Day 22 with no power.
Glossary of Terms
Glossary of words or people that may or may not be part of this blog post. This glossary will be at the bottom of every blog post for Belize.
Jack & Jill – These are my ex-property managers (names changed). They are Canadian, they introduced me to Belize in 1997, sold me their house in Belize in 2003, and rebuilt my house from 2014 to 2018. I have known them for over 30 years. After almost 20 years of me supporting their life here in Belize Jack decided quite unexpectedly to declare “war” on me right before Christmas 2021. They would end up stealing my business license and causing me a lot of grief. They live on the farm, but not on my land.
Wayne – He is the son of the original owners of the farm (both owners are deceased). The original farm was 2 – 30 acre pieces minus 2 – ¾ acre parcels for my house and 2 – ¾ acre parcels that Jack & Jill own which were all originally purchased from the original owners. In 2017 Wayne sold me 40 acres of land from the original 60 acres (30 acres plus 10 acres). Wayne lives in his parent’s house and has a few cows on his remaining 17 acres of land.
The ponds – I have 2 large (300ft long x 50ft wide x 10ft deep) ponds on my 30 acre parcel of land which is basically a jungle. I have about 60 coconut trees (mostly mature) around the ponds. I have plans to plant a few hundred papaya trees here plus other fruit-bearing trees around the ponds.
The coconut field – I have about 400 coconut trees planted (various growth states) on about 3 acres of cleared land of the 10 acre parcel. I plan to add various fruit trees to the same field as soon as I can.
The river lot – my house sits on an ¾ acre lot. I have a second joining ¾ acre lot that allows me river frontage on the Belize River. I call that my river lot.
The dry – Belize has 2 main seasons. The rainy season and the dry (no rain). The wet is obviously the rainy season.
Chopping – using my machete to clear brush, vines, weeds and unwanted trees.